Dear Anxiety,

I guess I'm getting nervous. I leave for Korea in less than a month (T-minus 25 days!) and I'm a bit concerned that I might wind up with an ulcer before I get there. I'm having stress dreams, tummy flutters, and can't stop going over the list of things I need to do and prepare before I go. Even though I know I can't get things ready faster than I already am, it's still really stressing me out!

I don't remember being this stressed out before I went to Taiwan... maybe I've matured. Does stress come with maturity? Based an a rough comparison between the high school students I teach, and the adults I teach with, I'm going to say yes, stress is something that must build up as you age, perhaps stored somewhere hidden in your body, in a hitherto undiscovered and unexplored location, like your appendix (aha! THAT'S what it's for!) and then bursts out causing acid reflux and ulcers once you reach a certain age. It's like anxiety acne! Which, by the way, I feel that I must be far too old for, given my stress level; so please, acne, leave me alone! Go plague the faces of those who have less to worry about!

So, at this point, I have the job, I have the agency walking me through the procedure, I know when I'm supposed to leave (May 29th), I know when I'm supposed to arrive (May 31st), and yet there still seems to be so much more to do! Right now, my main concern is accumulating all the necessary materials for my visa application. Oddly, this seems to require much more than my actual job application! I need:

• Two letters of recommendation (I've asked the principal of the school that I've been working at as well as the head of the English department)
• A full criminal background check (which I had to have done 3 times in the past few months, since every school you sign up to substitute at requires it's own)
• A set of my official university transcripts (I've ordered them, but Cornell seems to take its sweet time getting those things shipped out. Kind of weird, since when you ask for them in person, they just print them right out then and there.)
• A notarized copy of my Bachelors diploma with an apostille (they actually wanted my original, but there is NO WAY I'm sending my original diploma to Korea!)
• The original, signed application I filled out for the post (by far the easiest to get, as I just need to print it off my computer and sign it)

So I am currently in the process of amassing the items on this list, while also endlessly researching Korea, reading other teachers' forum posts and blogs about the experience, and learning Korean using Rosetta Stone, which was massively expensive, but really does seem to be working (I guess the real test will come when I try to speak Korean to someone who actually knows the language!)

The deal they offered me seems pretty sweet:

• I'm teaching at a middle school (ages 13-15) in Changwon, which, according to this is a bit smaller than Boston, and about the same as Portland, Oregon.
• The job starts officially on June 1st, and the contract lasts one full year.
• I get paid 2.2 million won per month (about $2,000)
• I work 22 hours per week

Plus, I get:

• 300,000 won (about $250) one-time settlement allowance
• Round-trip flight allowance of 2,600,000 won (about $1,200 each way)
• Single, studio apartment, fully furnished, and rent-free!
• 18 working days paid vacation, and national holidays
• Medical contributions
• Pension contributions
• 1 month's salary bonus on completion of contract
• 11 sick paid days allowance
• 7 day special leave allowance
• 2 weeks additional paid vacation if I renew my contract after the first year
• Introduction pack (including travel guide, English/Korean dictionary, book on teaching, and other goodies)
  

So, all in all, a pretty good deal, a few things to get ready before getting my visa, and a few things to pack and prepare. So why the nerves? Why the anxiety? WHY AM I WAKING UP AT 5:30am????

Is it the prospect of moving to the other side of the world? I can't wait to get out of here! I love going to new places! It's not even like it's the first time I've done this!

Is it that I'm going somewhere where I don't speak the language, or know the culture? I'm learning Korean, and studying the culture. I have Korean friends, and as long as I'm not presumptuous, and remain respectful, I'll be just fine!

Is it that I won't know anyone in this new city? I make friends easily! Plus, foreigners band together in a new country, and there's an Irish bar in Changwon called O'Briens that apparently every foreigner goes to! Making friends shouldn't be a problem!

Is it that I'll have to navigate this new city, in a language I don't know? Changwon is apparently one of the only Korean cities laid out on a grid plan, and is supposed to be really easy to navigate! Plus, it's not like it's Seoul, with millions upon millions of people and crowded buildings! Changwon is the Environmental Capital of Korea! How nice is that?

So what is it? Why do I wake up feeling like my stomach is waging a violent war with my throat? Since, as previously stated, anxiety is something that must develop with age (the crows feet and receding hairline of emotions!) that mean I must be an adult now. And adults know everything. Right? Aren't I supposed to know what to do now?

So anyway, Anxiety, as nice as it is to know that I'm all grown up having you here with me, I think I liked it better being a kid.