Dear Korean Children (aka Korean Kids Say the Darndest Things)

I have been in Korea for a month now. I know I haven't been posting very regularly, and I apologize for that, but what I thought was whirlwind of activity at the beginning that would subside as I got used to things here I now realize to really just be the pace of everyday life.

The Koreans are known for their pali pali (faster! faster!) pace of life and you can see it in everything. Time for a meal? Suck down those noodles as fast as possible and get out of there! Drinking with buddies after work? That bottle of soju will be emptied in 30 seconds flat. Taking a taxi? Dear god, hold on for your life! Taxis are nuts here. I mean, riding in any sort of car is crazy, as there don't seem to be any sort of laws regarding driving practices (need to turn left across 5 lanes of fast moving traffic? No problem! Just go for it, everyone will swerve around you!) but taxis can really be quite terrifying. First off, each taxi driver has installed no only a high-tech GPS, but a high-def mini TV, and who knows what else in his cab. So as your driving, the GPS is talking in Korean, while the driver is watching some Korean drama show (or, most recently the World Cup games) while yelling into his cellphone, and driving like a maniac. It's like a rollercoaster ride, with no protective harnesses.

Oddly enough, this fast-paced lifestyle does not seem to apply to walking, ANYWHERE, EVER. Koreans walk everywhere as if it were the last place they would ever want to be, as if they were walking to the gallows and were trying to prolongue those last few precious minutes of life by walking as slowly and purposelessly as humanly possible. There also seems to be no sense of "sharing the sidewalk," and instead of walking in a straight line, they meander to and fro as if they were not entirely sure of what side of the street their destination was actually on. This gets pretty frustrating when it's 95 degrees, 200% humidity, and you're late for work. Just TRY getting around an ajuma (technically the term is for any woman who is married, but is usually used in reference to the little old spunky grandma types who will seriously take you down if you cross them) when you're in a hurry. As if her sole purpose in life were to block your way, she will slowly and calmly, but with unbelievable deftness, move directly in your path as you frantically zig-zag back and forth, trying to find some way around her. Perhaps as Korean women age they develope sonar, and are thus able to amuse themselves by frustrating foreigners through anticipating our walking patterns and blocking our every move.

But taxi drivers and ajumas aside, Korea really is an awesome place. One of the things that makes it so great is the kids. Korean kids are adorable. And I don't mean just like, "aw, that's cute... look, a puppy!"I mean "DROP EVERYTHING AND LOOK AT THAT KID! I WANT ONE! I WANT ONE NOW!!!" And kids are everywhere. And I know you're thinking "Ariel, you're a teacher. You work at a school. OF COURSE kids are everywhere!" but I don't mean just at school. Maybe because I'm a teacher I notice it more, but it seems that anytime I go out I see families and kids EVERYWHERE. In discussing this with other friends I discovered that Changwon is actually one of the "youngest" cities in Korea, according to age statistics. The average age for the city is only about 30 years old. It's a popular place for young, new parents to come to raise their children, and boy is it evident.

Korean kids also LOVE foreigners. They love to practice their English and show you what they know, and even the ones that are too shy to take the initiative always have their parents right there, pushing them toward the random foreigner telling them "say hi! Hello!" You get quite used to random kids coming up and yelling "HELLO! HOW ARE YOU? I AM FINE THANK YOU AND YOU?" before giggling embarrassedly and scampering away. It can be a bit shocking if you're not used to it. It's like drive-by English, with random words being shot at you instead of bullets. Sometimes you can actually get one of them to stay long enough to have a conversation, which invariably goes something like this:

Random Korean Kid: HI HELLO!
Me: Hi. How are you?
RKK: I'M FINE THANK YOU AND YOU?
Me: Haha, I'm fine. What is your name?
RKK: *pause* My name is... Park Kim Lee! (or some variation, sometimes a random English name)
Me: It's nice to meet you. My name Ariel. How old are you?
RKK: *pause* uh.... I am 7 years old!
Me: That's great! What's your favorite sport/food/movie?
RKK: *pause* *confused look* 매먀눟 먀혀... (having gone off their memorized English Script, they are now at a loss, and usually run away at this point)

Surprisingly, despite being quite talkative on the street, in the classroom it's nearly impossible to get them to speak. Or at least, to get them to speak Korean. They'll chatter away contently in Korean, but the second you come over and try to get them to say something in English, they clam up as if English was the most vile language to have ever crossed their tongue. They almost need to be tricked into speaking English, through games, competitions, or often bribery with candy or stickers.

On some occasions, however, I'll get students who'll pull out all the stops with their crazy English.
Sometimes it's all I can do to keep from rolling on the floor with laughter:

One class we were studying vocabulary to go along with buying things at the "traditional market." I was trying to elicit vocab from them by asking "What things can you buy at a traditional market?" and writing their answers on the board. Students started yelling out things like "FRUIT!" "MEAT!" "POTATO!" when suddenly one kid somewhere in the middle of the class yells: "SLAVES!"

uh.... I don't think you can buy those anymore...

In another class, our lesson was about music, and I was eliciting vocabulary for famous, celebrity, well-known, that sort of thing. I asked the class "What do you call a person when everybody knows who they are?" A small boy at the very front of the class pipes up "MY MOM!"

hmmm... ok then... but the response I was looking for was actually "your mom!"

Sometimes cultural ideas and differences come out too. Just this last class I had the girls read a short story about some kids who get stranded on a desert island. As practice after reading, I asked them to imagine they were trapped on a desert island, and to write a letter home to their family. One girls letter went:

Hi Mom,
Don't worry, I'm OK. But, here the work is too hard. I need a man to help me. Please send a man.
Love,
Eun Jee

So much for feminism in this class...

So, all in all, Korea is still awesome, and I am still alive. Semi-New Years resolution: write more in my blog!